its been  while.

for the wainscotts!! finally i'll bee seeing you next year! can't wait!

I decided to take a walk today after orientation and a long nap (Both went very well btw )
i got some great pictures of Santa Barbara which i'll share in a minute. but first this story.
I was walking down State street headed towards the pier, daydreaming off into space when i glanced to my right and caught eyes with a little old homeless grandma. she had a box set out and a dollar bill being held down by a rock. within the brief moment in which we made eye contact she uddered in the most helpless voice she could muster up "can you help me at all?"
pause.
i specifically grabbed 3 quarters out of my piggy bank and one out of my wallet so i could get an ice cream cone from thriftys after i took pictures on the pier.
my giving heart took out my 4 quarters and put them next to her dollar held down by a rock. which now that i think about was probably stratigically placed there. much like how a bar tender will put a couple bucks in his tip jar to show people thats where you put the money. and also to show tell me hey someone else gave a dollar to charity i should too. sorta like a "everyones doing it" kinda thing. so the homeless lady took my icecream money. and i got to thinking after the feel goodies went away from giving away my ice cream money and the realization of me now being ice cream-less set in, it hit me.
she now has two dollars and i don't have any!
and thats the truth.
in fact, homeless grandma probably has more money then i do!
i got to thinking about the truth of that statement.
here i am in santa barbara, voted the countries most expensive place to live.
I'm a student, i havn't worked in 2 weeks.
i have .69cents in my checking account
a credit card thats almost maxed out
and a honkin' mama student loan that i'll be working my ass off to pay back
all the while grandma spends the day practitcing her helpess voice and doesn't feel a bit of remorse for stealing ice cream money from people with less money then her!

what happened to my giving spirit? as a christian we're supposed to help the widows and the orphans and the homeless and stuff....but i dunno man, im kinda in a tight spot. I'm broke. i was richer in junior high. I'm probably taking a really bitter and immature approach to this thing. But its a morale thing and i live in a city full of pan handlers now. to give or not to give that is the question.

and on that note heres some photography